Can I ask God for my future husband to be creative, faithful and honest and love people?

by Chris Plekenpol

I recently was texted this question:

“Can I ask God for my future husband to be creative, faithful and honest and love people? Is that wrong? How specific is too specific?”

Great question. God is wanting us to have a conversation with him all the time. He is wanting us to share our deepest desires with him.

But we find in Psalm 37, this truth: Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Think about this for a moment. What you are asking is for God to give you the desires of your heart. I think we all want someone who is creative, faithful, honest and loves people. I can’t think of anyone that dreams of marrying the grumpy boring prince. Here is the tough part as well, the guy you are going to marry will be creative, faithful, honest and loving…some of the time. You see what God wants from us is to trust Him and find joy only in Him. That is why you delight yourself in the Lord. When your desires become His desires, you will receive whatever you ask for, guaranteed. God’s will is always done.

Now at the same time, I understand there is an interpersonal relationship between a father and son/daughter. In Luke 11 Jesus taught His disciples to pray to their Father in Heaven. He essentially gave them a run down on the Lord’s prayer and then told a story to illustrate the way we should pray. It was a really strange story, especially if you have an issue with being awkward.

He said it was like a guy who had an unexpected buddy come in from out of town in the middle of the night. He is famished and being a good friend, the guy wanted to give him something to eat, but it was midnight so everything was closed. So he gets out of bed and goes next door and starts pounding on the door. The neighbor is like, “Go away!” But he pounds on the door all the more. Eventually, the guy gives him food not because he is a friend, but because he won’t stop the racket. The neighbor valued sleep. Then he goes right into this verse.

And I tell you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.

10 For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.

11 What father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will instead of a fish give him a serpent;

12 or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion?

13 If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”

(Luke 11:9-13 ESV)

God is better than your neighbor, no matter how great your neighbor is, trust me, I have an awesome neighbor. He will respond to you as a father, but like the neighbor coming to him and coming to him with faith that He hears you.

It’s one thing to knock on the door when you think no one is home, and you figure you might as well knock for posterity sake. It’s another thing to knock on the door when you know someone is in there. My neighbor’s kids do it all the time. They look in the window and see us, and no amount of ignoring them will get them to stop ringing the doorbell. I value sleep and sanity, we have a newborn, so I answer the door and give them whatever they need.

The only difference is that my neighbor’s kids are walking by sight not by faith. When we knock by faith, knowing that God hears us, He will answer us.

We must remember though, that God is not our Genie ready to grant our every command. He is a good father who wants to give good gifts to His kids.

So two things: are you asking for what you want? Or are you asking for your desires to be God’s desires?

Secondly, do you believe he hears you enough to not stop knocking until He answers?

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